Opinions On My Writing (honest plz)?

I find your writing to be good. Your use of parallel sentence structure is quite amazing but there are points in your writing where I get lost in the words. Also, you should go through this again and make sure you fix some grammar and typing errors that are present. One last thing: I think the end lacks a little in comparison to the rest of the piece. Maybe add something with a little more punch? Overall, though, very nicely done.